1. |
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What are you doing here
Can’t you see the right lane is perfectly clear
You’re doing 45 with your trailer full of hay
I’d do 60 in my Kia if you’d just get out my way
The left lane’s for passing
The right lane’s for asses like you
Who’re hitting 55 and turning on the cruise
The left lane is for me and the right lane is for you
If your truck’s a mile high
You shouldn’t drive on this side and I think you know why
If you don’t care when you get there that’s totally okay
But I’m here to speak for those of us who haven’t got all day
You’re on time, you’re 105
You drive a combine
Pull an equine trailer, tractor, cadillacker
Box truck, log truck, dump truck, what the fuck
Take your freight from state to state
Hey it’s all great don’t mean to hate
On your Florida license plate
The rest of us are late
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2. |
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Whether you buy a thing and roast your own darn coffee beans
Make a scrapbook out of year old magazines
Practice riding and compete in rodeos
Talk to truckers on a CB radio
Candle making, cosplaying, ice skating, crocheting
You’re not hurting anyone just having some fun but
Some things ain’t good to be good at
Like playing games and leading people on
So i wish you’d take a step back
And quit breaking all these hearts that aren’t your own
Leave folks who ain’t as good at that alone
Download an app and have a football fantasy
Buy some funny shoes and join a bowling league
Get really good at making wheel thrown pottery
If you’re funny try some stand-up comedy
Exploring, skateboarding, dog sporting, pakouring
Good for you if that’s what you do
Other people’s hobbies don’t drive me to drink
Other people’s hobbies they don’t come up with my shrink
Hunt ghosts, make soap, smoke dope, jump rope
You could try out fixing trucks instead of being a schmuck
By now you could have learned to play trombone
Instead of living in a glass house throwing stones
Leave me and everybody else alone
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3. |
You Got Nothing
02:02
|
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How long have you been single, don’t it suck being alone
What’s a guy like me got to do to take you home
I’m only average smart, I wouldn’t say I’m hot
I know I’m nothing special but I’m better than the nothing that you’ve got
You’ve got nothing
You’ve got nothing
I’m nothing special but I’m something
You’ve got nothing
Really nothing
Let’s put a something in that nothing and get right down to loving
We’ll start with conversation, move on to jack and coke
We’re both adults in here, let’s get this show on the road
If you say there’s someone else, baby I’m all ears
I’m sure you could do better but nobody better’s here
Right now I’m just a frog but I might turn out princely
No way to know for sure until you kiss me
The worst thing that can happen is we go our separate ways
And be every bit as single as we were yesterday
So at least I’m worth a shot wouldn’t you say
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4. |
She Got Married
04:00
|
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The other day I got to thinking about all the amazing women I went to college with
I thought about Hannah, she sang like a bird
When she opened up for Neal McCoy, we hung on every word
With Broadway and New York City firmly in her sights
We were sure we'd see her name in lights
But since our graduation I haven't heard a word
Whatever happened to her
She got married, settled down
Didn't even try, just moved back to her hometown
Met a guy, had some kids
Might not know what feminism/who Ruth Bader Ginsburg is
Unlimited potential, dead and buried
She lives in Duluth and she got married
I thought about Maria, whose charm was unsurpassed
She quickly became the president of our little freshman class
She'd win in a landslide for anything for which she ran
And someday we'd see her smiling face lighting up CSPAN
But since our graduation I haven't heard a word
Whatever happened to her
She got married, settled down
Didn't even try, just moved back to her hometown
Met a guy, had some kids
Might not know what feminism/who Ruth Bader Ginsburg is
Unlimited potential, dead and buried
She lives in Topeka and she got married
What good is talent if you don't pursue it
What good is beauty if you don't know how to use it
What good's a chance if you're just going to refuse it
What good's domestic life if you didn't choose it
For each of these women, there were hundreds more
Stars I thought were rising but were just finding the door
They were all beautiful and talented and promising and straight
And I was just too gay to procreate
She got married, settled down
Didn't even try, just moved back to her hometown
Met a guy, had some kids
Might not know what feminism/who Ruth Bader Ginsburg is
Unlimited potential, dead and buried
She lives in Des Moines
What is in Des Moines
She lives in Des Moines and she got married
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5. |
Yurt
02:44
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I used to be a lot like you
3 bed 2 bath was the right thing to do
But my girlfriend brought me up to her new place
Got me spreading the message to the whole human race
It worked for the Turks in 500 BC
And it’s working for 21st century me
No dust in the corners, the walls are all round
I feel like I’m flying three feet off the ground
The bills may come in but they ain’t gonna hurt
Trust me when I say get you a girl with a yurt
Now I’m not here saying there isn’t some sense
In a house and a yard and a white picket fence
But don’t come crying to me when it’s hard to pay rent
I’ll be doing just fine in my girlfriend’s tent
There ain’t nothing wrong with living the dream
But a dream is a flexible mutable thing
If there’s one thing I’ve learned and intend to impart
It ain’t the size of the house but the size of the heart
Don’t give the Mongolians any flak
If you can’t pack your home on a camel or yak
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Uncle Ellen Nashville, Tennessee
Uncle Ellen is the songwriting of Ellen Angelico. The Nashville Scene calls Ellen an "ace of all things stringed" and "one of the greatest utility players in Nashville."
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